Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

The thing about change is that, from a logical standpoint, you know you go through a curve of feelings before you are necessarily comfortable with whatever the thing is that has changed. And that's all fine and dandy, and I can understand that. However, logic doesn't necessarily fully come in to it, especially at the point where you aren't quite sure if you're having a shit time because you actually are, of if you just think you are. I'm not even making sense with this sentence, but essentially, how do you know how you feel about a certain thing? I have no idea whether my feelings are actually true or if I'm just being a big emotional entity.

Oh, I know about the Kubler-Ross stuff, and how change becomes accepted eventually, but what if the thing you accept is going to be horribly bad for you in the long run. What if that? But maybe, just maybe, that is acting a little irrational and over the top. The thing is, I'm not normally that bad at change. I consider myself fairly good at rolling with the punches (not literally, I'm rubbish at fighting), but there's something about this thing. In the words of countless parodies of Star Wars, "I have a bad feeling about this".

OK, enough beating around Kate Bush. These are the facts:
I have a new job. I started Monday. It is an outgoing call centre job. Currently, I hate it.

But will that change? The only way I can currently see this properly changing would be if I grow to accept it and become stuck in a role that I don't enjoy but happen to make some money on. But I don't really give a shit about money (well, I do, because I like takeaway food and that), but should I really commit to a not just slightly disliked, but legitimately hated job, at the expense of my own wellbeing and happiness? OK, maybe, but I don't want to.

Or, to look at it another way, perhaps I just need time to get in to this thing properly. I'm not going to go in to details about what it consists of, but it is certainly not something I see myself doing. People say that needs must, but do needs really must? These aren't rhetorical questions, I would genuinely like to know the answer.

The problem is, when you open up to this level of self-analysis, you have to be prepared for the question - "what do I want to do?". And the answer to that is never set in stone, but I am like 98% sure that I want to work in the games industry, for peanuts if necessary, but doing something I actually love and enjoy. Then, like a proverbial stacked domino, comes the reasons why not:

I don't have the necessary skills -> to get the skills I need, I would need to retrain -> to retrain needs an investment of time and money -> i'm already way past University age and have little to no capital -> I should get a job, temporarily, to earn this money -> I don't enjoy this job, I should do something I actually enjoy more.

Man, that circle is more vicious than an un-licensed rattlesnake/pitbull genetic experiment. I think I need to do a plan, with pro and con listings and all of that jazz, but that takes effort and everything. If only I had some kind of incredibly talented, intelligent and pretty much betterthanme girlfriend to help with this. Oh wait, I guess I do. Maybe life ain't all bad after all.